In 1934, an American theologian wrote a prayer for a sermon he was delivering. Reinhold Niebuhr’s short prayer has grown fairly well known over the years: God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Though it is generally presented with slightly different wording and has a second stanza, most people recognize it as the Serenity Prayer. The prayer is most famous for its association with Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-Step Groups. The prayer is perfect for that setting, but unfortunately is often relegated to recovery. The thing is that the idea behind the prayer is powerful and can be useful to folks who don’t have addiction problems.

There are many things in this world that we simply cannot control or have limited ability to influence. One obvious one that seems to be stressing people out and causing significant conflict in families is politics. We can influence politics in the sense that we can vote and we can talk about it, but beyond that our influence is limited to contacting elected officials and voicing concern.

Those are important things and folks who are passionate about one issue or another should certainly do so. However, I have met a lot of folks who sit up at night worrying or think about it until they are furious or engage in endless hours of Facebook debate because they are so scared or frustrated about the political landscape.

There is a certain point where the emotional response becomes increasingly more intense because we are powerless to a degree. Examples of things we have limited or no influence over are not hard to find. Often, we worry about the self-destructive behaviors of others, but cannot influence them beyond offering words of warning.

I often hear folks worry about the rainfall, grain prices, gas prices, etc. These are things we just can’t manage. We have to accept that we cannot control them and learn to respond appropriately. It’s very difficult to be at peace over things that you cannot do anything about. I’d argue that the idea behind the prayer is that peace begins with trusting that God is in control. It’s not an easy thing to trust that God will manage things you cannot manage. In fact, it’s downright scary. But, once we have learned to trust God to take care of us, it becomes a source of great comfort. I’d suggest that the most basic step in the learning-to-trust-God journey is accepting that no matter how things turn out, He has a plan and acts for a reason. Sometimes this means that we need to accept that when things don’t go our way, God is in control and has a plan. Trusting God doesn’t mean he will serve life to us on a silver platter. Rather, it means that we accept that He knows best.

The opposite end of that is changing things we can change. This can be a terrifying possibility. It’s easy to complain about life. It’s hard and scary to change things. Going back to school or looking for a new job or starting a new diet/exercise regime or working to improve our marriage or any number of other changes are difficult. Those kinds of change are the sorts of things we tend to avoid because they are difficult. Often, with God’s help we can find the willingness and courage to make them.

The final clause refers to the “wisdom to know the difference.” Know what we can and can’t change in the world is fundamental to knowing how to act. Often prayer and counsel from wiser people is necessary for discerning, especially when they are people with no direct emotional involvement. Our feelings can cloud our judgement. True wisdom involves making decisions from a place of careful consideration and counsel.