Over the weekend, my wife and I sent our kids to stay with a friend and set out to a bed and breakfast in Cascade to celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary. The spot we picked to stay at was beautiful and situated right on the Missouri River. We had grand plans of floating the river, swimming, hiking, and spending time away from the responsibilities of life. We drove the 105 miles to the B&B and arrived to the news that our reservations were no good. The hotel had been overbooked and we arrived last, with no place to stay. We scrambled to find another room, but came up empty. We went back to Great Falls, in the hopes of finding somewhere to stay in the city, hoping to salvage our anniversary weekend away with a night at the movies. However, the air show and a few other events resulted in the entire city being booked solid. Hours later, we gave up and decided to go home, both very disappointed in how our plans failed to come together and very glum at how things had turned out. However, we agreed to go out for dinner before returning home. Then something strange happened: we talked for an hour, then spent the drive home talking, reminiscing, and laughing. By the time we had unpacked the car and settled in for the evening, I had a revelation. In marriage and life lived together, it’s easy to get hyper focused on the possibilities and the ideal version of the life we want to live. We imagine the perfect home, kids, jobs, romantic connection, sex life, conversations, dates, etc. Sometimes we build up in our heads an ideal version of life. The problem with doing that is that we can easily miss the point of living and sharing our lives together. The point isn’t to attain perfection; it’s to enjoy the gift that God gave us in our spouse. Things may not be perfect, like how our weekend outing turned out, but time together in the perfect and imperfect moments is what matters. This doesn’t just apply to our situations. It also pertains to married individuals who constantly lament the fact that their spouse has flaws or doesn’t live up to their expectations. In reality, we are missing the point. God calls us to enjoy marriage and life together. Beyond that, Jesus teaches us to serve each other in marriage. Loving service changes our hearts, enabling us to know God better and to love our spouse deeper. At some point in our disastrous anniversary outing, I turned to my wife and said something terribly cheesy. I told her that as bad as the day went, it was still pretty good because I got to spend time alone with her. I meant it. The gift God gives us in our husbands and wives isn’t the perfect counterpart. It’s a partner to enjoy life with. It’s a gift worth celebrating and savoring.
