Over the weekend, I officiated the Celebration of Life (memorial service) for Ronald Christiansen. Anyone who has lived in Big Sandy for more than a few years knew Ronald and his twin brother, Donald, because the pair dutifully spent their days walking the streets of Big Sandy collecting cans. Ronald was a developmentally disabled person who had lived in a string of institutions that were supposed to care for him. They took up residence at the Marx home through their placement at Big Sandy Activities (BSA) residential facility in 1981. For nearly 40 years the brothers made their home here and enjoyed the freedom to roam the streets of our little community.
Lorrie Merrill, my good friend (and the owner of the Big Sandy Mountaineer), spoke at the service. She worked with the brothers in her role as the Director of BSA. She said something in that talk that impacted me in a way that I hadn’t anticipated. She explained that Big Sandy was a unique and wonderful place for the brothers, because they were safe and cared for here. Our community is a place where they could live safely. Ronald and his brother could walk around town and enjoy their lives here because our town watched out for them and took care of them. That freedom was a precious gift that changed the brothers’ lives. It would not have been possible in most cities or towns, but our community is different. I am proud to live in a town that could care for the brothers like that.
Lorrie went on to explain that the gift-giving was not a one way street. She pointed out that, in reality, Ronald and his brother gave us a tremendous gift. We took care of them, because they needed it. We were placed in a position where we had to choose to keep an eye out for our neighbors that needed some extra attention and protection. We had to choose to be better people. Opportunities to rise to the occasion and be the kind of people God calls us to be are not always so obvious. In the western world, and particularly in the western parts of our country, we value rugged self-reliance and independence. Consequently, it’s easy to chafe at the prospect of needing help or receiving assistance from each other. The brothers needed care from others in order to enjoy the independence that made their lives better. When presented with the opportunity to give and serve them, we stepped up. I believe that God changes us through loving and serving others. He makes us better when we serve with no prospect of receiving repayment.
The challenge that comes with that arrangement is that someone has to be served in the arrangement. When we are served by others, it tends to rub our pride the wrong way . This truth of human pride is illustrated well by the account of Jesus washing His disciples feet at the Last Supper. The action was one of lowly, humiliating service. It prompted the apostle Peter to insist that he would never let Jesus wash his feet. Jesus responded that if he didn’t wash Peter’s feet, the brash fisherman would not belong to Him. Peter needed to learn the humility required to be served by Jesus.
For us, it is impossible to serve others when no one wants or needs to be served. Our neighbor Ronald gave us the blessing of being a daily fixture in our community that needed love and care. We got to be good neighbors to him in small ways. He gave us a chance to learn humility through service. It was made easy and rewarding by the fact that Ronald was a good-hearted, friendly man.
Our town gave Ronald the gift of safety, which made it possible for him to enjoy his life in freedom. He gave us the opportunity to be better people. With his passing, I pray that this lesson will not be forgotten and that our community will find new ways to love and protect those who God puts in our path.
