Patching Cracks

 

February 28, 2018



Third John is the shortest book in the New Testament. It is also one of the least appreciated. John’s short letter (only 129 words) written to a church leader somewhere in Greece. Though we don’t know the exact situation being addressed in the note, clues in the book give us a pretty good idea of what’s going on.

John is writing to a church leader named Gaius, announcing his plans to visit the churches in the region for the purpose of dealing with a conflict that has arisen between him and another leader, a fellow named Diotrephes. He sent a letter to Diotrephes, only to have him refuse it. Next, John sent representatives to figure out what the problem was, only to have them turned away, with Diotrephes threatening to kick anyone who associated with them out of the church.

This is no small insult. Inhospitable treatment was a huge insult in the ancient world. Finally, John decided to travel to the church and talk with Diotrephes personally. The fight doesn’t seem to be about anything theological, in fact 3 John is the least theological book in the New Testament. Instead, it seems as though Diotrephes loves being in power and doesn’t want to share his influence with John.

The story itself is kind of interesting, but the real gem to be found in this book is in the way John responds to the problem. John’s writings are full of encouragements for the readers to love each other and embody love in their lifestyles. His gospel stands alone in recording certain words and actions of Jesus regarding serving others and our obligation to love other Christians selflessly.

John’s approach for dealing with Diotrephes’ hostility shows that he has taken those words seriously. Three specific aspects of his approach are worth noting, because they can be applied in our lives today in order to establish healthier relationships and decrease conflict.

First, John is trying hard to reconcile the relationship. He attempts three times to establish a connection with Diotrephes, even choosing to travel to the community and speak to the man himself. John is a very old man as he writes this letter and travel was dangerous and physically demanding. Still, John is going to go and talk face to face. This is a huge deal, especially considering the fact that Diotrephes is gossiping about him, as indicated in the letter. He doesn’t just write the man off in anger. Instead, he sets his right to be offended aside and works selflessly to fix the problem. He even goes so far as to travel, at great personal risk, to see Diotrephes. This is a great example to follow. We often withdraw and lash out when hurt in relationships, but this invariably either kills the relationship or leads to more turmoil. Instead, John lovingly engages in an attempt to clarify and reconcile.

Second, John works with a neutral third party. I am not describing a gossiping relationship or an ally who poured gas on the fire of outrage or necessarily agreed outright. Instead, Gaius seems to be willing to help facilitate the reconciliation. Based on the description in the book, he seems to also be a guy that would call out John if he is wrong. This is a great practice. When we are angry, it’s easy to turn to folks who encourage our anger or simply enjoy the gossip. This is a fun approach, but it’s more rare to approach a third party who will listen and give honest feedback or encourage reconciliation. However, this is the sort of person who helps make the situation better, rather than making it worse for entertainment.

A third element of John’s response that is worth learning from is his willingness to talk personally about the situation. John has been wronged and is approaching a hostile person, but is willing to do so in order to fix the problem. It’s really easy to avoid talking personally with folks who we know are angry with us. However, non-communication simply makes thing worse.

Things don’t get better when we are unwilling to engage. Mind you, this face to face conversation would undoubtedly have been a loving one. John’s goal is to reconcile. Often when we address problems directly, we do so in a way that is all about confrontation and attack. These rarely result in positive outcomes.

 
 

Powered by ROAR Online Publication Software from Lions Light Corporation
© Copyright 2024