The Big Sandy Mountaineer -

My younger brother sent me an article written by a prominent millionaire outlining the 12 things that folks need to attend to in order to live a fulfilled life. The interesting thing is that the individual went through a nasty divorce recently after scandals came out about his philandering. I read the article, thought it was interesting and the advice it contained was worth noting. He advised things like: “Do things your way” and “Take risks” and “Work hard your whole life” among other things.

The interesting thing that my brother pointed out was that the guy didn’t include anything about family commitments. The entire collection of advice for making your life fulfilled related to charging into the world in order to get what you want, experience anything your heart desires, and accomplishing goals. It was an obvious omission, but also an important one. My brother went on to ask me about my experience as a pastor. Specifically, he asked me what folks in hospice or in the twilight years of their lives generally talk about as their greatest achievements or the things they are most proud of. The answer for that is easy: family and relationships. I have been blessed to hear about kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids. I have heard about whirlwind romances that turned into decades of committed marriage.

When I do funerals, children tell me about their dads playing catch in the yard or offering sage advice. I rarely hear about successful businesses or 18 hour work days. When I do, it’s a note of respect for the character and willingness to work hard. Still, the things that make folks smile and laugh and bring a twinkle to their eyes is the people they shared their lives with.

My younger brother works for an investment bank, and he often tells me about people who sacrifice their families in the name of success. They trade watching their children grow up for putting in the hours so they can drive a BMW to work or vacation in expensive places. It’s a terrible trade. Every few weeks, I try to eat lunch at the elementary school with my daughter. Honestly, it’s better to eat at the school cafeteria with a little girl who glows when I walk in than to drive a car I can’t afford or eat fancy food on the beach of a tropical island.

What the millionaire missed in his article is that we are designed to enjoy these relationships. I think Proverbs puts it best: “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.” For those without children or large families, I would suggest that God has put all manner of folks around us who we can share our lives with.

I did a funeral for an individual a while back in which a crowd of folks who weren’t blood relations showed up to declare that the person was their family and blessed them accordingly. This kind of life isn’t free. It costs time. We must choose to spend time with our spouse and kids or invest time at a church or other settings. In the end, this is an investment and a life that will long outlive our time on this earth.