For the last few years, I have found myself in a loop of grayness, same after same after same. I could blame it on COVID, but honestly, it started before that. But it's Easter, a great time to reflect on rebirth, new beginnings, or a fresh breeze.

I've wanted to experience God again, to feel his presence. Don't get me wrong. The fact that I lived a gray life wasn't because of my pastor or my church. It was because I wasn't looking for the miracles God gives daily. I wasn't celebrating the miraculous. I didn't laugh enough, sing enough, or rejoice enough.

For several weeks now, I've loved every day, waking up to the sun shining in my window. I am thanking the Lord for all he is doing in my life and in the life of those I love.

I've questioned myself on how to continue this new experience. I laughed out loud, wondering to myself how to go forward. So I'll continue to be myself, talk to myself, laugh to myself, and see miracles when no one else does. You might even see me dancing as I walk across the street or down the sidewalk.

One thing I know, I don't care what you believe or think about me. I care what Jesus thinks about me and if I live colorfully for him. (And even I laughed at that sentence.)

From Palm Sunday and the cursed Fig Tree, the lesson for me would be, am I bearing fruit? And I know the answer, I’m at least fertilizing. However, after Communion on Palm Sunday, the children in the Children's church didn't know we were still worshipping and they made a lot of noise coming up the stairs. There were quickly schussed. I don't want to rush past worship, to everyday noise, to the day-to-day sameness, but I won't be schussed.

So I’m looking forward to living in joy.