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Audrey Hepburn once said of herself: “I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.” While Audrey Hepburn may have been particularly exceptional in this sense, there is an essential truth about women in this quote. It is a truth that, if understood properly, can greatly equip husbands to enhance their relationships with their wives. Last week’s column introduced the idea that men and women have different primary emotional needs. In the next couple of columns, we will be looking at those needs more in depth. The...
The Beatles once sang: “All you need is love.” While I love the Beatles, this is just incorrect when it comes to marriage. The fact is that men and women are wired differently and don’t interact with the world in the same ways. In Ephesians, Paul wrote a line that contains amongst the most disputed concepts in my 18 years as a teacher/preacher: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” I find that many people argue over the meaning of this line and whether or not it’s the...
“In quarreling, the truth is often lost.” Originally written in Latin a couple of millennia ago, this adage is as true today as it was when it was first thought up. I’ve recognized the truth of this idea, particularly in observing arguments and conflicts in marriages. Most fights between spouses start over fairly minor issues, but really get rolling when perceptions of the other’s attitudes, thoughts, or actions throw gas on the tiny spark that is the initial issue. A tone of voice or word choice is perceived as disrespectful or unlovin...
With the New Year days away, many people set out to make resolutions to improve themselves in the coming year. Sadly, most folks will not succeed in their efforts. An article recently published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology explored this phenomenon. Several potential reasons for the lack of success people experience with resolutions were explored, including the idea that resolutions are primarily an attempt at self-motivation, which fall short when the person making the resolution isn’t actually motivated to make long term changes in t...
The story of the birth of Jesus is an interesting one, but can be difficult to understand and appreciated to the fullest because of the huge cultural difference that separates us from the events. There is a great deal of scandal embedded in the original nativity scene, and it translates into great news for us today. Before exploring the idea, it’s important to understand that sanitizing the shocking elements of the story is more an accident of history than an act of deception. For example, when you hear about the shepherds watching their flocks...
A few years back, a study was done with children, in which young boys and girls were placed by themselves in a room, in front of a mirror. Before long, most of the little girls began to talk to themselves in the mirror. Whereas, the boys looked in the mirror and began to pretend to shoot at themselves, pretend to be an airplane, or some other sort of active play that they watched themselves engage in. In addition, the boys became distracted, losing interest in the mirror, and began looking around at their surroundings. The experiment...