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Before coming to Big Sandy, I worked with kids in a mental health facility. Most of the kids were pretty ordinary but had abusive or difficult upbringings. The result of their terrible life experiences was often a great deal of anger and disfunction. It was a difficult job because we worked with kids lived at the facility. Their parents weren’t there to care for them, so we had to fill in the best we could. The hardest part of the job was that we had to deal with clients at their worst. It b...
Over the last few weeks, I have read a handful of articles in various publications on how to start an argument over politics with your family at Thanksgiving Dinner. The authors of these helpful guides included catchphrases and tricks you could play to bait your family into expressing a viewpoint about one side of the political spectrum or another just so you can argue about why they’re are wrong. This included such petty acts as changing the WiFi password to something they will hate so that t...
In 1929, Calvin Coolidge traveled to the Black Hills in North Dakota for a vacation. While there, he was photographed many times dressed in cowboy attire. The one catch being that it isn’t actually cowboy attire. It’s a very fancy, almost silly version of it. At the time, the press mocked the president mercilessly. He responded that it was ok for them to laugh, but that he was living out a childhood dream. Looking at the pictures, there is no way anyone would think that the president was a rea...
The treadmill was originally invented as a torture device for prisoners. Prisoners were chained in place on a cycling belt that simply continued to move. The prisoners were forced to run or walk in place for hours at a time as a form of torture. It’s a pretty ingenious torture device, if you think about it. You work all day, exhausting yourself, but never accomplish anything for your efforts. After sweating and straining all day, you are still standing in the same place you were when you s...
In ancient Israel, every Jewish boy would learn the Torah in school. Specifically, they would memorize the Jewish religious writings starting at an early age until the rabbi teaching them decided they had reached their potential as students. At that time, they were sent off to work in whatever field their family had always worked in. Some students would be sent away early to work, while others would progress to the point that they were accepted as a disciple to a rabbi. This was sort of like...
One of the hardest parts of professional pastoring is ministering to families in times of loss. It is hard because our natural inclination when folks are hurting is to try to fix it. We want to make the sorrow stop, but it’s impossible. You can’t make it so folks don’t weep and hurt at the death of a family member or friend. Nor should you make it stop. Hurt is a part of life and mourning is a healthy natural thing that has to happen. As a Christian, we often turn to Paul’s words in 1 Thessaloni...
I hate shopping for cars. I would probably enjoy it more of I had a lot more money, but as it is, I typically go into car buying with a strict set of rules and a limited budget. The worst part is when you talk to a salesman and he has you test drive a fancy car that is out of your price range or doesn’t fit your needs well. You wind up sitting in a car you want, because it is attractive and fun, but know you shouldn’t buy because it costs too much or has some impractical aspects that make it...
I have a work out schedule I follow from week to week. It is Tuesday morning as I write this, and I will confess honestly that I dread going to the gym on Tuesday mornings. My Tuesday workout is very difficult. I have to push myself to finish it because it is so strenuous. My whole body is always sore by the middle of the day on Tuesdays. What makes matters worse is, this morning I added to the workout because I am trying to improve my fitness level, and I’m going to continue to make it a l...
I recently watched an interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger where he talked about going from being a small, self-doubting kid to winning Mr. Universe 7 times. He described hanging photographs of boxers and athletes he idolized all over his room. Every morning, he would wake up early and look at the pictures, which were his goal. He wanted to look like those athletes. He described this as the source of his early motivation to push himself to train as hard as possible. He kept his goal in front...
Last week, I listened to an interview with business coach/best selling author Steve Chandler. His business has been built up around the idea of being a “Time Warrior.” Put simply, he teaches folks how to overcome procrastination and accomplish more in life. The thing that I found most interesting about the guy is that his solution could be boiled down to one line: If you have something to do, do it now. It seems really simple, and it is. He argues that we tend to look at time in terms of dea...
My wife and I enjoy doing Escape Rooms. These are games where you are locked in a room and have an hour to escape by solving puzzles that provide you with keys, combinations, or directions for escaping the room. We have done a dozen or so over the years in different cities around the country and love the challenge of solving problems together. Last night, we did one in Billings while on vacation. I watched as one of the gals we were doing the puzzle room with made an interesting mistake. It is o...
Ancient rabbis used to tell a story about the Jewish exodus from slavery in Egypt. At the climax of the story, God parted the Red Sea so that His people could cross on dry land and escape from the pursuing Egyptian army. In the story, two men were walking along and complaining. They were looking down at the deep mud that they were trudging through, where the vast sea had been before. They complained about the mud on their legs and feet. They complained about all the walking. They complained abou...
I do about 30 chin-ups at the gym several times a week. I don’t like doing chin-ups, and I couldn’t do them for many years. I’d try and try and couldn’t quite get myself up over the bar. Then, a crazy thing happened one day: I did one. After doing one, I found that doing a second one was easier. In the space of a few weeks, I jumped from none to more than a dozen. I didn’t develop some supernatural strength or find a new training program. What changed was that I figured out that I could do chin-...
A few weeks ago, my 6 year old son and I were at the community pool for swimming lessons (for him, not me). It was the last session of the week, and they typically just play in the pool for the hour. I asked my son to go down the big slide, which has been a requirement in our family as a prerequisite to going to water parks during the summer. He looked at the slides and told me that he would do the little one, but not the big one because he was too scared to do the big one. Reaching into my...
About 10 years ago, I started playing a Facebook game. It was one of those games where there’s almost no skill or thinking involved. A few of the guys I worked with started playing the same game, and before long we were discussing it at lunch and ducking away every hour or so to check on our status. We played it for months. Until one day, I realized that it was kind of pointless. I didn’t really find it challenging or fun. I wasn’t competing with anyone to try and win anything. It didn...
This week, I have been married for 21 years, and I am happy. I thank God every day for my wife and the life we have shared, good and bad. This isn’t to say we never disagree or fight. Rather, that I love her dearly and she is my favorite person in the world. I’ve spent some time trying to come up with some sort of magical advice that would account for our marital success. I spend a bit of time doing this whenever I do premarital counseling or talk with married couples who are struggling. I don...
I am a procrastinator by nature. Though I’ve gotten better about it over the years, when I was in college, I turned it into an art. I began by waiting until a few days before an assignment was due to start working on it. Then as time went by, the starting point moved to the day before. Eventually, I began setting my alarm early on the due date and rushing through the work. There were times I would print up papers and run to class to turn them in with seconds to spare. As I have grown older a...
This morning, I read an interesting op-ed written by a woman who is a lawyer and mom. She talks at length about the difficulty she has in that role and the hard truth that she often chooses her work life over her family because it fits her priorities. She laments the fact that she skipped birthdays and phoned in her participation in her kids’ school activities because her work was more important. I disagreed with the author on several points, but found myself identifying with her perspective b...
I am allergic to dandelions. Every spring, my lawn begins to grow, the dandelions show up, and I start to develop headaches and sinus problems. When it gets tiresome enough, I mow in an effort to beat them back. Every home owner knows that mowing won’t solve the problem. In fact, it can make the dandelion problem worse by spreading their seeds out. The new seeds take root and new dandelions sprout up. I could certainly solve the problem, but I don’t really want to put the effort in. The issue is...
When I was a kid, I knew a handful of guys who were rabid baseball fans. They could tell you any stat for any player on their team going back 10 years. They collected baseball cards religiously, stored them in little plastic sleeves and studied them daily. Over the course of my lifetime, I have seen this same phenomena play out for all sorts of different hobbies. Recently, I listened to a couple of car guys talk for an hour solid about engine specs for different model years of muscle cars. The...
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This quote, from motivational speaker Jim Rohn has made the rounds in the world of self-improvement for years, and it’s worth taking a moment to consider, because it has a great deal of truth imbedded in it. The way we think and view the world is shaped by what we read, hear, watch, and interact with. Our attitudes rise or sink to the level of the folks we associate with. This is an unconscious drift that is built into peopl...
About 15 years ago, the church I was working for as a Youth Pastor made significant budget cuts that resulted in me taking a 50% pay cut. This meant being forced to start working a second job. The job I found was at a facility that worked with kids who had emotional problems. The program I started in was Emergency Shelter Care. We provided housing for kids that had nowhere else to go. My first week there, we took in a young lady who had been homeless since she was 8. She was 13, and the police...
Wabi-sabi is the Japanese word referring to their cultural understanding of beauty. It’s an interesting perspective that is very different from what we generally accept in the west. Whereas we tend to look at things that are perfect as beautiful, in wabi-sabi, beauty is based on the idea that all things are constantly changing and nothing is perfect. Wabi-sabi looks at the imperfections as the source of beauty. This doesn’t mean that Japanese craftsmen and artists don’t work to improve. In fa...
I recently read the Wizard of Oz and was surprised at some of the differences between the film and the novel. The most interesting difference related to the story of the Tin Man, who was originally just a regular woodsman. He was cutting wood to earn money to buy a home for his fiancé. While he was working one day, he accidentally cut off his own leg, which he has replaced with a mechanical one. The same kind of accident claims his other leg and his arms, all of which he replaces with...
“A man and a woman are walking up to a building. The man notices the woman and runs ahead to open and hold the door for her. As she walks in, she turns to the man and asks ‘Are you holding this door because I am a woman?’ He responds: ‘No. I am holding it because I am a gentleman.’” I’ve heard this anecdote hundreds of times from a good friend of mine who is a pastor. He tells it frequently to make the same point: It’s wise to act based on your identity, not based on the situation you f...